Scorpio (October 22 – November 21): Why you gotta smell so good and look so fine all the time, Scorpio?

Those bright eyes, that air of mystery, the attention to detail. If the zodiac was a bar, you’d slay. Every time. You’re a little bull-headed, yes. A little Captain Caveman meets Tasmanian Devil. But, honestly, it all works.

Your kids love the crap outta you. They’re proud to call you theirs. You could take them to the post office, and they’d love to go with you. So where are you taking them? Pick someplace fun and go be there together. How about a baseball game? All in. Hats, shirts, hot dogs. You’re a team, you and the kids. Enjoy it, you earned this. In fact, you’ve worked your ass off for this.

And, lemme tell you something: this is it. You did it. This is the sweet spot, pal. Take it all in, because it’s fleeting.

Regarding practical matters: a testy opposition between Venus and Saturn will fall across your solar axis of money matters. Venus loves to spend, and Saturn prefers to save, so what are you going to do? Both, do both. Spend a little, save a little.

Everything in moderation, Scorpsie-baby. Everything, all the time.

Aries June 2016 Horoscope

Aries (March 20 – April 19): If you had little baby triplets, you could name them: Verve. Vivacity. Vitality. Because that’s what you have, Aries. You’re a life-lover, hungry for success, fueled by experience. Here’s an idea: pour that over ice and call it summer — for you, for your kids. The sky is swimming […]

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taurus

Taurus June 2016 Horoscope

Taurus (April 19 – May 20): If the Zodiac was a corporation, you’d be the CFO. Your workspace would be a big comfortable corner office with one helluva a view of the galaxy. You’d probably even have a kick-ass Hugo Boss space-suit with a built-in Bose sound system. You like the finer things in life, […]

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Gemini June 2016 Horoscope

Gemini (May 20 – June 20): Someday I’m going to have a party and only invite Geminis because y’all know how to get down. Life is a big carnival and Geminis could go ‘round and ‘round on the carousel and never even barf, not one time. It’s lights, noise, action, fun, as often as possible. […]

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cancer

Cancer June 2016 Horoscope

Cancer (June 20 – July 22): You love home so much you’d think Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros wrote their biggest hit about this astrological sign. Of course, the point of that song is that home is wherever you are, with your friends and family. With a parade of planets in your sign grooving […]

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leo zodiac sign

Leo June 2016 Horoscope

Leo (July 22 – August 22): If a combination craft store / library / sex toy shop had any market viability, you could thrive in that business. Art, ideas, performance, romance — these are a few of your favorite things. Enjoy time exploring the arts and discussing ideas with the family. With the Sun, Venus […]

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Virgo June 2016 Horoscope

Virgo (August 22 – September 22): Virgo, if the zodiac was a cartoon, you’d be Curious George. You’re interested in everything, and you’ll wander off following the things you want to understand, and the problems you’d love to fix. But, like George, you always come back home to reassess and recalibrate, incorporating what you learned, […]

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libra

Libra June 2016 Horoscope

Libra (September 22 – October 22): If the zodiac was The Love Boat, you’d be the cruise director, Julie McCoy. You know what people need, when they need it, and how to help them get it. You’re excellent at making people feel special, and your family basks in your doting love. The Sun, Venus, and […]

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pisces

Pisces June 2016 Horoscope

Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Your intuition is razor sharp. Your ability to sense — and adapt to — a changing environment is part survival skill, part goddess-given gift. Of course you’re happiest immersed in spirituality. Never posturing — always philosophical, seeking, longing, curious. You’re a natural leader, using questions to guide the way, […]

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aquarius

Aquarius June 2016 Horoscope

Aquarius (January 20 – February 19): This is the dawning of the age, Aquarius. Right now. Did you set your alarm? Did you wake up? Good. Look around. Everything you ever wanted is right here. It’s interesting, it’s smart, it’s artistic, and it’s full of stories waiting to be told, stories yet to be written. […]

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capricorn

Capricorn June 2016 Horoscope

Capricorn (December 21 – January 20): If the zodiac was PBS for Kids, you’d be Bob the Builder. Building things from the ground up is second nature for you. Restore, renew, remodel. You can do all of these things. You’ve built a life, you’ve built a home, and you’ve built a family. You are reliable, […]

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sagittarius

Sagittarius June 2016 Horoscope

Sagittarius (November 21 – December 21): You know what you’re good at? Choosing friends. You have the nicest friends. Funny, smart, skillful, honest. Your friends are good people and they love to be with you, because you’re good people. You’re loyal, you’re thoughtful, and you’re one helluva a good teacher. The best teachers never stop […]

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scorpio

Scorpio June 2016 Horoscope

Scorpio (October 22 – November 21): Why you gotta smell so good and look so fine all the time, Scorpio? Those bright eyes, that air of mystery, the attention to detail. If the zodiac was a bar, you’d slay. Every time. You’re a little bull-headed, yes. A little Captain Caveman meets Tasmanian Devil. But, honestly, […]

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