Dude. It’s hard to be a parent.
Sometimes, it’s just easier to abide than it is to struggle.
Put a little zen in your parenting with these gems from The Big Lebowski…
Quote: That rug really tied the room together.
Useful when: The stomach bug hits and you’re watching the whole fam projectile vomit onto the rug, the wall, and all of your favorite things (while trying not to lose your goddamn mind).
Quote: Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.
Useful when: Anytime anyone opens their mouth and says anything.
Quote: This is a very complicated case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous.
Useful when: Your kids walk in on your make-out sesh and now you gotta explain some things. Also, it really throws the kids off their game when you call them Maude, particularly if they’re not named Maude.
Quote: This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
Useful when: Someone dares complain about the dinner you just served. Or anything else, for that matter.
Quote: I’m the Dude, so that’s what you call me. That or, His Dudeness, or Duder, or El Duderino.
Useful when: Your kids’ new friends are wondering what to call you. Or, just anytime you’re introduced to someone new.
Quote: Obviously, you’re not a golfer.
Useful when: Anytime you need sarcasm. Which is always.
Quote: Eight-year-olds, Dude.
Useful when: You’re commiserating with other adults about the strange and largely inexplicable behaviors of human children.
Quote: I love you, but sooner or later, you’re going to have to face the fact you’re a goddamn moron.
Useful when: You realize your kids aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer, and you’re at peace with that.
Quote: Careful man, there’s a beverage here!
Useful when: Your kid is climbing into your lap and you’re obviously just trying to relax and enjoy a nice bev. Or, anytime you need the kids to stop destroying everything in sight like the little barbarians they are.
Quote: F*ck it, Dude. Let’s go bowling.
Useful when: You just can’t even anymore, so you might as well go roll.