Armed with a corkscrew, I flung open the fridge door and grabbed a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. It had been chilling during the 90-minutes I spent attempting to get my three daughters to bed.
Two twists and I pulled that cork out.
And like a raging waterfall into my Waterford Crystal cup, I poured myself a glass of the crisp, liquefied version of green-skinned grapes.
The dry yet subtly sweet white wine smoothly landed on my taste buds.
Then I remembered my wine was a result of my toddler’s obnoxious whine all.day.long.
Don’t believe me?
Here are 16 reasons my toddler cried today, also known as 16 reasons this momma needs a bottle of her own every night:
1 | She woke up.
2 | She wanted her blanket. She begged for her blanket. I gave her the blanket.
3 | She wanted popcorn and ice cream for breakfast instead of oatmeal.
4 | I threw away said oatmeal.
5 | She had to wear pants to the grocery store.
6 | I wouldn’t let her eat lint from the dryer.
7 | I had to tell her Santa comes once a year, and it’s not tonight, this month or anytime this summer.
8 | She had to eat lunch before playing outside.
9 | It was windy when we went outside.
10 | I wouldn’t allow her to nap with a container of yogurt.
11 | She woke up from her nap.
12 | Her sister looked at her.
13 | I told her she couldn’t have M&Ms and graham crackers for dinner.
14 | She wanted the pink sippy cup with the green lid not the orange sippy cup with the yellow lid.
15 | She wanted to bounce in her sister’s crib, read books and go swimming before bed.
16 | It was time for bed.
To the moms who never have enough tissues on hand for the crazy yet true reasons their toddlers cry each day: I’m holding up my half-empty bottle to you. We’ll drink through this together. And who knows? With enough wine of our own, maybe we’ll laugh about it someday, too.