Armed with a corkscrew, I flung open the fridge door and grabbed a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. It had been chilling during the 90-minutes I spent attempting to get my three daughters to bed.

Two twists and I pulled that cork out. 

And like a raging waterfall into my Waterford Crystal cup, I poured myself a glass of the crisp, liquefied version of green-skinned grapes.

Sip, sip.

The dry yet subtly sweet white wine smoothly landed on my taste buds.

Ahhh.

Then I remembered my wine was a result of my toddler’s obnoxious whine all.day.long.

Chug-chug-chug. 

Don’t believe me?

Here are 16 reasons my toddler cried today, also known as 16 reasons this momma needs a bottle of her own every night:

1 | She woke up. 

2 | She wanted her blanket. She begged for her blanket. I gave her the blanket.

3 | She wanted popcorn and ice cream for breakfast instead of oatmeal.

4 | I threw away said oatmeal.

5 | She had to wear pants to the grocery store.

6 | I wouldn’t let her eat lint from the dryer. 

7 | I had to tell her Santa comes once a year, and it’s not tonight, this month or anytime this summer.

8 | She had to eat lunch before playing outside.

9 | It was windy when we went outside.

10 | I wouldn’t allow her to nap with a container of yogurt.

11 | She woke up from her nap.

12 | Her sister looked at her.

13 | I told her she couldn’t have M&Ms and graham crackers for dinner.

14 | She wanted the pink sippy cup with the green lid not the orange sippy cup with the yellow lid.

15 | She wanted to bounce in her sister’s crib, read books and go swimming before bed.

16 | It was time for bed.

To the moms who never have enough tissues on hand for the crazy yet true reasons their toddlers cry each day: I’m holding up my half-empty bottle to you. We’ll drink through this together. And who knows? With enough wine of our own, maybe we’ll laugh about it someday, too.