My husband identifies as a geek. Cons are his jam. He’s let me accompany him to many, despite my lack of interest in either Star Wars or Star Trek. Our teenage daughter also likes to attend, though she too lacks the geek gene.  

We are preparing for a family weekend getaway to attend Megacon in Orlando later this month.  The three of us attended last year. There’s one big difference, though. This year my husband has informed us he’s leaving us as soon as we get in the doors – and his reasons are valid.

 

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Why my geek husband is abandoning his family at Megacon:

We’re easily distracted  

Something catches our eye and we wonder off. We might start following a life size R2D2, spy a display of sassy t-shirts or get stuck in the middle of a parade of Deadpool cosplayers. Then my husband can’t find us and gets stressed. Because, despite being a self-proclaimed geek, he really sucks at technology and barely knows how to use his cell phone.  

There was a balloon incident…  

This was a big deal. We all made it to Elden Henson’s panel last year. We were early even. The lady sitting next to me (in full Rocket Raccoon cosplay) asked if I thought it would be okay if she made a Daredevil figure out of balloon’s to give Elden. I said, “How cool!  Go for it!” I didn’t realize she’d be doing it the whole time he was speaking and that it would be really loud and annoying. My husband blames me for giving her the initial encouragement.  

We will probably get kicked out for stalking or harassment

I once followed Kristen Bell into the bathroom and went into the stall next to her.  I didn’t even have to pee.  Then I told her how I much I love “Veronica Mars” as we washed our hands.  (She was super sweet and very tiny.)  My daughter closely followed Elden Henson for about ten minutes and then reached out and touched his tattoo.  Twice.

I got Ando’s autograph  

My husband collects autographs from the actors of his favorite shows and movies. If there’s a good lineup at the Con we sometimes divide and conquer. He sends me to the lines of people he’s not quite as excited about.

Well, my task was complete one year and I noticed Jason Kryson who was playing Ando on “Heroes” at the time had no one waiting in his line. So I paid the $20 for his autograph because I felt bad no one was lining up for him.

My husband considers this autograph a disgrace to his collection – Jason didn’t even use Sharpie, for goodness sake. My sweetie almost wound up with a Thomas Payne (Jesus on “The Walking Dead”) autograph in the same way last year. (Though I have a feeling Payne’s lines are more robust now.)

We went to a wedding instead of meeting him at a panel as planned

Yes, a wedding. The bride was given away by (take a guess) Elden Henson.We texted my husband we were attending the stranger’s wedding instead of the panel, but he didn’t get the message and waited for us so long he didn’t get a seat.

We don’t care about the geek stuff. We’re happy to cop a squat and people watch. The most interesting part of any panel I’ve heard was Elden talking about his wife’s struggle with postpartum depression. My daughter is fascinated by the cosplayer’s makeup. We still have fun. We just don’t share his interest in spending hours in a line talking little known facts of the Marvel universe with people we just met.  

There will be tears

“There’s no crying at Megacon,” is his number one rule, but we’ll break it. It’s crowded. There’s so much waiting. Our daughter and I will get tired, hungry and cranky and both melt down at some point. Guaranteed. It doesn’t matter that we’re both well over the age of 5. Or 10.  

So when he announced he was going to do his own thing at Megacon this year, we totally understood. However, looking over this list, a large portion of our problems seem to revolve around Elden Henson. He’s not attending this year. However, Charlie Cox, Daredevil himself, will be there. We’ll try to contain ourselves a little better.