It’s Mother’s Day Eve and you’re brimming with excitement for your big day. The “put mom on a pedestal and compliment her until you’re blue” day.

But wait, what do your husband and kids have planned for you on this momentous day?

Your mind drifts, your thoughts turn worrisome, and you panic. Did I drop enough hints? Are they going to fill my day with unnecessary activities? Like a  three-hour long brunch that involves lugging a diaper bag around?

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Oh Mama, calm down. Take a deep breath, for I have created a foolproof Mother’s Day schedule. Just print this bad boy out and slip it into your partner’s car.

9:00am – Quietly open the bedroom door and carefully place a box of assorted donuts and a vanilla latte on mom’s bedside table. Now slowly back away so you don’t wake the sleeping beauty. Please, don’t forget to shut the door as mommy will need peace and solitude whilst feasting upon her breakfast.

10:00am – Run a warm shower for the frosted and sugar-crusted woman. Enclosed in the shower should be new, organic, all-natural, fair-trade, healthy, save-the-earth types of toiletries. Let’s also be sure they smell of lavender and petunias.

11:00am – This would be a good time for the gifts and bouquet display. No roses or carnations please. I’m talking about bouquets of peonies, ranunculus, and beautiful ferns.  As far as gifts, anything from Anthropologie should do. At this time, the children should be dressed in fit-for-the-queen outfits.

3:00pm – A leisurely afternoon lunch on the patio of a kid-free restaurant with fellow mom friends would be appreciated. We plan to eat too much food and finally get to know each other.

7:00pm – Dad puts the rug-rats to bed while mom mindlessly scrolls on her phone, reads a book, or enjoys a glass of wine.

8:00pm – Let the snacking on fancy tapas and binge-watching “This Is Us” begin. A foot rub during this time would be acceptable.

10:00pm – Lights out. Mom mourns, “Is the day over already?”

Okay, so this is a bit excessive, overdone, and written to elicit laughter. These are the things we mamas say to each other, “Wouldn’t it be awesome if we did a mommy-only lunch on Mother’s Day?”

Here’s the reality, as long as we wake up to our loving family, we will be happy. What Mother’s Day is really about is the joy of being a mother, the excitement of watching your kids grow, and laughter.

This Mother’s Day, I want to hug my children. I want cheesy handmade gifts. I want to call my own mother. Oh, and that box of donuts would be okay too.

I hope all of you hardworking, deserving, and relentless mamas out there have a lovely Mother’s Day. I’m glad to be in the same club as all of you!